also the food
Alex and I met with the most sumptuous food every night when we were together before and after Ian became one with us. Alex loved to cook and he had a number of signature dishes such as sweet ribs and won tons that took hours to make but were so worth it.
I learned early in my life not to “punish myself” over sin or mistakes but to accept the Lord’s leading to repentance and atonement and positive works.
I was unable to clean the home properly and that was my sick distress. I hired maids on and off. Cooking for Ian when Alex was out of town was also an issue. I learned to trust that he got what he needed from sources other than myself such as was acceptable.
the eye injury blew us all out of the water; and then I got tasered.
since then, for me, it has been difficult to follow what to do. That’s a long time. About 15 years.
nccotus 
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