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in other words, words, Dad, Alex. he was so insecure about my male College associations. he was so way high above them as a husband and friend to me and Ian. as a Canadian he had the habits of an armchair intellectual. he had his flaws. But he had a few years on them. He…
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I am realizing how much pain he was in all his life with me as his mother. I am realizing it through what happened to my mother’s cat Sasha. I was having seizure upon seizure all day long. having to mask them because of the unacknowledged diagnosis of schizophrenia. It was always “schizoaffective.” But I…
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for instance, in my last post, I used the word “humorous” to talk about the feelings I have in the moments I go through when I am moving through a bad and serious situation while struggling with a partial complex seizure. I also used the word “silly,” which was more on target. Obviously, there was…
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I’m not having them much any more. safer neurological pathways are restoring. I used to lose thoughts and fall into a silly unpleasant humorous mode that could last for days, weeks, years over something done in a malfeasance way that I couldn’t fix. I am here to fix one of them. After my mother’s death…
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about the night we met. the pillar by our table came between us and I didn’t get a gestalt on his face. Later, I realized it was true that he just wanted my girlfriend’s number. But he was also into meeting my father. He had so much info about hi-tech and he was thrilled to…
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we married quickly because it was getting late for us. He was in his mid thirties and I was all but 29. my mother pointed out that, for him, it was a Green Card marriage. He took me to see that movie. It turned out to be a Green Card marriage for me. I needed…
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I learned manners here at this home. I was left to help myself as a child, while holding myself for organic personality disorder issues. I had no manners. I never learned to ask for anything. Just helped myself. I was permitted to do this at home but held for harm for this by others. recently…
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in this weird area there are people who aren’t really human beings any more. They have tasted so much of Satan’s foul stench that they have become demons through and through. I used to fear these beings as socially superior as they gang led others against me and I just assumed my own inferiority. Now…
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what a lonely life it was until I met Alex and had Ian. i didn’t get it at first about Alex. It felt all wrong. Like I was being moved off the life I was meant to live with him. Whatever that was. I knew it was about England (me) and Canada (him) in competition.…
nccotus 