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all of this is why I call myself “God’s poster child for the pro-Life cause.” it is the exception that proves the rule. I could make a case that my abortion needed to happen, that it was a medical necessity. Those babies would have been monsters. But it is a case where the “irresistible force…
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in other words, the first abortion with Alex was actually my second abortion and I did not know this at the time. that feeling of violation and rape when those anesthetic needles pierced my cervix so painfully was because I had been violated that way once before at age thirteen. They stumbled on a crime…
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he queered me three times 2. Queered my college applications by staging a quasi sexual incident that I couldn’t understand at the time. Came up to my room unasked and gave me a back rub and told me he could barely keep his hands off of me. I was horrified and never got over this.…
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about abortion there are 12 faces to abortion that is the problem we have with talking about abortion. it was inflammatory to talk about abortion because of the initial intent back in the 60’s when the dispute was mainly about two groups: teenage girls who became pregnant out of wedlock and young women experimenting with…
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…about acute psychotic bug phobia oh how we danced through this ”what’s eating you?” “got something under your skin?” “Got a bug up your ass?” and he gave me his opthalmic antibiotics when I had a bug in my eye. ”kills bugs” he said. And it did, the bug floated to the corner of my…
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when I was still living in Florida my ex put it in my mind to kill myself. I didn’t know why. He said it different ways five different times. The last time, he had me trapped in the stairway and said it point blank. “You should kill yourself.” He said it was the honorable thing.…
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There are reasons for the worst things that happen to us and the worst things we do. i took a brutal overdose of Lamictal, an anti-seizure med, in 2016 Thanksgiving night in my new trailer park home. I have been in a sick thrall of atonement ever since. I see right now how it was…
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An atonement is being made. i still live there in my heart, mind, and soul. I lived there longer than any other place in my life. 16 years. I lived there with Ian. It was like I was a single mother. Alex worked out of town. Handed me a wad of cash and then got…
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on my years leave of absence back at my parents’ home in New Hersey, I tried to express shame over my experience as president of the Advocate. My mother’s reaction to this was to call me arrogant. This response set me at odds with myself in a way I didn’t know how to help. I…
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after the Advocate (see my last post), I died for five minutes after shocking sexual torture by a catheter in the ICU after a minor overdose of my psych meds. I took a months worth of an antidepressant and an antipsychotic med. That was back in 1986. I never really got up after that. Until…
nccotus 