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or was it a long slow engendered murder. my brother’s body was found at the bottom of a cliff in beautiful Maui where he spent the best years of his life as a famous amateur surfer up there with the professionals. he got old and his girlfriend didn’t want him any more. He took to…
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Fighting with a diagnosis of schizophrenia that put the cart before the horse. I have coped with this all my life. what with the lesion on my face causing a blank affect as peoole turned away from me and walked on. and the pud damage from being kneed in the crotch left me sexually absent.…
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about my last post: the difference was a major adjustment in my attitude about two serious and important matters in my life and my son’s. I am taking the liberty about the part of it that belongs to Ian. first, I resented that the Harvard Advicate, an undergraduate literary magazine, changed under my Presidency. I…
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praying for grace where I can see none. but trusting not in my own understanding but in the mind of God. Alex wars on me and Ian to keep peace with his current wife. this must stop. it’s bad enough that he ditched me without alimony; he also continues the ill fame and predatory mental…
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just bought a pair of grey fleece gloves at the Riteaid around the corner for 6.99. brought it all back when I saw them. Lost a pair of grey gloves in the subway in Cambridge in the winter of 1985 in Cambridge when I was losing it generally. I lost a bunch of grey things.…
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My Dovetail Theory of God does apply today. St. Augustine said, “God loves each of us as if there is only one of us.” I so love whoever made me aware of this fantastic insight by St. Augustine. I so sweetly embellished this with other borrowed insights. Good does it by nesting us together like…
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who appears to be in purgatory. if she were in hell I wouldn’t be hearing from her. if she were in Heaven we would have peace with one another. if she were still living I would know it by now. I am continuing to experiencing interference from her and pushing her back into purgatory as…
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I was never allowed to express anger. because of this I developed rage reactions. when I returned home to New Jersey after the Harvard Advocate Presidency my mother called me “arrogant.” in fact I was very angry and depressed. The “arrogant” word, together with a bad older anti psychotic med, drive me to cut my…
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my last post was cut short. No way to salvage the post or the moment. but it remains to be said that after 14 months here at this home I am rife with illness. Need to gonto a more secure situation where I can seek medical help and rest and nurture myself.. Had to quit…
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literally full of shit last night. finally was able to pass some monster poops that had me in the most horrific pain all week, not knowing what was in there. I won’t go further into the gory details. but, the Lord stemmed the flow of liquid diarrhea so that I could sleep and be in…
nccotus 