nccotus

I used to say that I would trust a Black man over a white man.

That was a long time ago.

but it remains to my mind among my formative experiences to remember the black man, Forrest and his wife, Brenda who helped us in Germantown Maryland when all hope was lost. They cared for Ian for a pittance of money and I was just so ignorant at that time, I didn’t know to give her more. I was living on credit cards. I just didn’t have any real money, and still don’t have any today, if I ever get a sizeable amount of money I will seek her and find her to compensate her over and above what she could possible desire.

so, I wrote an essay, “Black People Should Be Treated Like Royalty.” Forrest loved it. Wish I had kept a copy.

I met a black man on a psych ward way longer ago than that who convinced me that a Black man has way cooler insight, I said that I was looking for Grace because I was English and he explained that English grace is the same as “cool” in America. And that the British working class (my father’s roots) is like American slavery. I was young and impression

ablem

and h

I remembered my college friend Robbie, who went on to Harvard Law School, also Black, who was just so bright. I so disappointed him. When I came back to school with my wrists cut. He was in a story I wrote that I sent to the New Yorker. I think he assumed we were dating and I just want getting it, that had happened to me before. For me a relationship meant sex.

I was just so young in my soul at that time.