nccotus

so, in my last post about sex and psychiatry I mentioned that I offended a psychiatrist at a practice that I have returned to.

He is handicapped and so am I.

I mentioned that when I was there this past Monday but didn’t realize what I might or might not have been saying to him as I ran it by him about about my sexual injury 3 times over as a necessary part of my diagnostic history. I did mention it about the lesion coming off of my face 4 1/2 years ago and how that left it more plain about the sexual injury being my chief complaint as the lesion masked and distorted my feelings in such a profound way.

He let me talk and didn’t say anything.

I realized later that he probably thought I was trying to turn him on. Based on past history with me.

that was far from the case!

my experience with this Doctor is that he permitted me to try an alternative medicine, Pimavanserin, instead of the Clozaril when that was a desperate need for me. It didn’t work out in the end. But I had gotten 5 cases of pneumonia in 8 months on the Clozaril, because of the extra saliva, drooling on my pillow at night.

I ended up on a wild ride after that. Two people had died, my brother and my mother, and I completely lost it. Just beginning to come back to order.

that started in 2020 when I was already leaving this practice. My brother committed suicide in 2018. My mother had a stroke in early 2020.

I can’t remember why I was leaving the practice but I did discuss it with my psychotherapist there at that practice and she gave me a referral to a provider geographically closer to me.

that didn’t work out and I have been spinning my wheels in abeyance a lot, seeking med suppliers and I was in the hospital a lot. I was declined for my Clozaril twice with disastrous consequences and blamed for stopping my meds!

so, yes, sex is the last thing on mg mind as I seek psych intervention at this time if I talk about sexuality it is the opposite. NO SEX here. It is a peaceful and pleasant place to be. Compared to the past. I mentioned masturbation in my last post and said it the wrong way round, I said “It IS the psychological issue.” Or something like that. I have fixed it now. It made it sound like I was still doing that when that is NOT the case. I have my right hand back now.

I am a little least queasy at the thought of all those suppressed sexual juices and electrolytes and the crud and bugs under my skin and the cheese factory on my face and in my pud all somehow all coming out of me which has to happen according to my New Years Resolution this year, “to follow God and let him make me Holy.”

maybe the aliens can help.