nccotus

I had a baby in PA whom I just couldn’t keep. I was so ill and smoking and drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes and taking psych meds. At a low moral ebb, driving around the countryside going to coffee shops with or without friends; going to Partial Hospital Programs.

the second child whom I aborted in Southern California would have been similar but ti a lesser degree. I was trying to get off of psych meds so that I could have a baby. But I just couldn’t contemplate quitting smoking.

I deemed us–me and my ex–a case study in abortion as my MH woes got so much worse and the weirdest things were happening to us,

by the time I got pregnant with Ian I had just taken my last dose of Haldol and had been off of the Tegretol for quite some time. The coffee was minimal and I had the smoking to a reasonable limit. I was probably take I bg too much alcohol at first, and also sacch ribe–

I just didn’t know about the harm in that regard. I quit as soon as I learned.

but my uterus was a crime scene and I had serious misgivings for the baby.

so happy to be pregnant and comparatively clean as a whistle

but I couldn’t see past childbirth, terrified about the damaged crotch issue and that I wouldn’t be able to push…

And then when we got to that moment, in Buffalo, all the way across the continent, there WAS an issue with the labor and then with the pushing…

then, after my ex ordered me not to eat a pastry a few years later in Germantown, MD, I gained 50 pounds and never was able to lose it because of the Depakote. Praying to I have it this year,

I looked pregnant. This big poofy belly mads me look pregnant until I turned 40 or more after that it became obvious: no baby. At age 64, I have the weirdest form.

all of it is about the abortions. Especially the one at age 13 that I rarely talk about.

I expressed to Ian’s womanfriend about the ongoing argument in a relationship that can reflect sexual frustration but is always going o happen in the wake of abortion; maybe it also precedes abortion. We prepare for every child and every husband in this regard, aborted kids and their fathers notwithstanding.

woman aren’t to know this. We were “protected” from this information by those who used to deem themselves “pro-Choice” who were pushing the envelope for abortion as a party to feminist motives and also the weight and practical motives of the abortions industry. And so many of us , men, women, and children were harmed as a result.

I recommend Project Rachel Counseling to women who have had abortions. Also, “Surrender the Secret,” a program online.

abortion doesn’t solve the problem, it just changes it.

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