nccotus

For me it was about the music.

I took in God through Beethoven, Mozart and Bach as a young person, until my father ditched all that and turned to jazz.

I played the piano. Alone in the living room in Summit, NJ on my father’s baby grand. I played some classical like “Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring” by Bach and some Bach “Inventions” and a Scarlatti Sonata also one jazz piece called “Grandpa’s Spells” and a collection of classic pop rock and a Simon and Garfunkel collection.

At the state hospital I said to myself that I wanted to be “God’s flute”–I was thinking of Mozart. I was was searching for something I couldn’t reach at the time. An ecstasy I couldn’t find but then I finally did in California, driving the 92 blue Acura Integra up Rt 5 towards LA listening to rock CDs. But the ultimate for me is motherhood. I couldn’t do it at all as I wanted to but somehow I knew to trust in the Lord’s timing.

Graceland, the Stones and the Talking Heads felt like religion to me back then. I was grieving the loss of an aborted child who could have lived but might have been seriously impaired by the Tegretol and Haldol I was taking and that I couldn’t get my head around quitting smoking.

so, I couldn’t write music but I was able to write a little poetry after my son was born. I lost the piano playing, it went out of my fingers.

Abortion does a number on you.

There needs to be a better way to handle the situations that currently lead us to abortion as currently practiced.

We need to be actively seeking the way to end the lives of children produced in sick situations of one kind or another in today’s sick sex world where there is no normal limit placed on sexuality’s power force of procreation.

until the boom finally sweeps us clear of currently errant sexuality.