Alex and I were improperly conjoined.
I used to say it was like he was making love to my ear
we never met properly and my family gave him such an ill impression.
he used my OCD brain problem to board me sexually.
we had it together for a while in Perris, CA, a house on the edge of town where we had carte Blanche.
I was a crazy mess.
He said “I thought you were going to be my sex slave.” Which alarmed me. I was just trying to be his dutiful wife.
after the baby was born in New York State it all came crashing down around our ears.
now he has a woman to hold in an ordinary way. I am glad for him. My virginity is restored and my sexuality is being restored to a pristine state. There won’t be any other man. I am fragile.
I just wish he would quit gaslighting me in Florida. I am sorry that it ended the way that it did and I have repented of the divorce for that reason.
nccotus 
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