nccotus

I f8nally figured out how to explain the condition that “looked like” schizophrenia.

gave the impression of a vegetative person with a blank affect.

First, I became sensitive to noises that triggered rage reactions when my mother forced me to smoke out in the porch where the nearby freight rain siren was unbuffered. Then, I was forced out into the smelly, oil and gas fumed garage full of flies.

I was also 3 years into the “Patsy S Problem” whewas happening e I had my mind coming apart as I tried to figure something that happened to me at the state hospital.

I was coming unglued and it took the form of mental OCD as my mind took over policing itself for what was happening to me. Very difficult to explain. I felt like my brains were creeping up from the baswas painful, une of my mind over the top of my head and it was extremely painful, scary, uncomfortable, and unpleasant and I saw no end in sight and wasn’t able to verbalize about it. I lost my “calculations” literally, I couldn’t do simple mathematics. I also physically couldnt write any more write any more. I couldn’t even write a check. My thoughts felt out of my head at the sound and feel of the nib of the pen touching the paper.

it became to be a question of startle responses.

After awhile just about anything could bring on a startle responses that triggered a flashback or through which I could be illegally “boarded” (ie, “illegal boarding procedures”). Running over a caterpillar on the road, for instance. Construction zones were the worst. After a while traditional OCD set in with “checking” and “placement” issues and various kinds of rituals.

my ex “used” the vulnerability to cop some sweet sex out of me where I wasn’t really very sexual any more. It was a sizzling sexlife by the time we got to dystopic Perris, CA. But it had to end when we had the baby in Buffalo. Some needs to PISS on Dr’s Lipsey and Simpson on the John’s Hopkins psych ward in Baltimore for what happened to Alex.

the startle responses and corresponding “seizing” affected my son. Alex noted that he would start crying when I seized even in another room. He watched the condition move to tragic proportions.

Lipsey took the liberty to become angry at me over this and i really did lose my mind.

My father tried to throw a punch.

Hopkins distanced themselves and refused to be further associated with me after saying that they would follow me.

there is not a whole lot more to say here that hasn’t already been said except that the disorder was rooted in startle responses and was very physically painful and hurt and harmed my son.

also that my vision and eye contact was affected.

everybody drove by.