nccotus

about a college relationship that has kept my light under a bushel down all these 45 years.

I was always aware of his presence. Where I went down down down he went up up up.

In short, I was afraid of him.

yesterday I released him from my heart mind body and soul. In short, I ditched him, realizing that I finally could.

it came down to the relationship being inappropriate.

we were staying together in the beds that we slept in as children. I forced my parents’ hands in this regard. My brother was allowed to let his girlfriends stay with him. I brought Mark home and took him to bed and for other reasons as well they couldn’t countermand this move. So, he got his parents to let me sleep with him at their home.

we were carrying on this way for two years. It looked ill for us as Harvard students. I wasn’t pursuing my studies.

all these years later I wish I could take that time back.

this should have been fixed at Hopkins. Instead Mark outpaced me and disdained me and I fell by the wayside. And only now am I able to take back the night. I became abbyhillonline. And an aficionado of alien visitations. And a spearhead in psychworld.

no one would wish for this life after the sweetness that I had as a Manhattan socialite and certainly I didn’t. But it is what the Lord gave me. There is a disconnect here that has to be fixed.