nccotus

I once put a persons name out there in a way I had of not being able to resist a sweet metaphor with ill consequences. I have so grown up since then, it went into the Harvard class notes of 2003 I think it was.

this person was called out for this in a way .i so did not intend.

today I so came out as holy hi-tech and restored to order as such after 44 years since the Round Room in the Freshman Union at Harvard. In the early morning hours I sent a song to my son as I often do. It was a Steve Winwood song: “Back in the High Life Again.” That song used to play through to me so sadly during my time at Wernersville State Hospital’s Lodge Program, a place where I took my most serious character formation. But it came to me so sweetly in the night last night. I saw myself dancing down the years with my son. Next I sent it to Alex. He has some choices to make in this regard and so do I.

i embarrassed said Harvard lover so many times over. So that it doesn’t seem helpful to belabor it further but I do need to bump myself off of said relationship at this point to woman up to my marriage which was a beaut. My parents and other family members worked to break it. Cousin Jeff in Spain so generously fostered us for which I am so dearly beholden to him down all these years. We just couldn’t hold it together under the stress and strain of the negativity and lying and use moves by mediate family members which I won’t detail here but the pain and suffering was intense. I lost the sweetness of life. But never lost the hilarity. Became seriously Catholic Christian in other words. God broke me I guess. Everything is in a name. I lost my honor, my name wasn’t good any more. I was clan chattan , clan of the cat, and overrun as such. Murphy’s are common as grass. Clan chattan is noble but I wasn’t being respected as a wife. My father was a hi-tech aficionado and at the top of his game. I knew of his work and sorta knew about hi tech royalty. But it was a weak strain by the time it came to me to witness about it to Alex and he didn’t get it right and sided with my parents because they were coequally immigrants. He just didn’t get my language. And didn’t understand that they were lying to him.

it all came out in the wash yesterday. Doesn’t bear talking about what almost happened yesterday just that it didn’t and will never almost happen again.

I am restored. I am hi tech royalty. I am “a beautiful people”. I will never eat dirt again. People whom I once knew will step aside and let me be in my own small world if eddies and whirls as is proper given my physical condition as described n my last post.

only my family need visit. I would appreciate it if my father got his head out of his ass and dropped the ax.