nccotus

just turned over a new leaf.

since 1995 I have been in abeyance from my own life.

that’s the way it was after the Lodge Program at Wernersville State Hospital in the 80’s.then, I had a fighting chance when I met Alex. But after having Ian and going to John’s Hopkins University Hospital “for a fresh look at the diagnosis” it was the opposite.

There was a moment after that, after we relocated from Buffalo to Maryland where things turned bad, the feeling was as if I was having a miscarriage. It’s hard to explain. Ian was two years old.

the good feeling of the solidarity of my mother and childhood never came back until today! Just now! When I realized that the move to Florida was for a long necessary healing in other words it was not an illengendered vacation it was a well placement for both Ian and me. We both had serious health needs and a fragile condition. The issue is that it was not stated as such and we both came in for a lot of flack. Alex likewise had some health conditions that warranted the warmth,