nccotus

…and what happened to Cinnamon

I got the kitten Daisy through my relationship with JF from the apartments in Somerville MAnext to Cambridge after graduating from Harvard College.

she ultimately led to the relationship with Alex clan Chattan , clan of the cat

we were off of our game the whole time due to interference from my family but Hopkin.s stepped in to permanently secure this dystopia.

when we met, the cat Cinnamon had just died under the circumstances I described in a post I wrote last night. I had called JF. We were on the outs but I called him anyway. It marked the end of our relationship I was free and clear to go to Alex when I met him at a function for singles a few weeks later. Alex called it a “pickup”.

I am only today able to sob for poor Cinnamon the cat and how he died. The wine the Lord has made wine of this murky water is that he died a natural death and beat the visit to the vet that my mother likely had planned to get him put down. She would have done it viciously. He bit Claire’s hand once. It was probably a nervous reaction. I would have done it myself if I were a cat.

Cinnamon was a remnant from the move from Summit in New Jersey where we had moved from in 85. He used to lay out in the driveway there as well. Obviously he didn’t accept the move from Summit. sorta like me. So, when I lost him I also was letting go of Manhattan and Boston; poised to meet Alex also recently losing the Boston area. We were poised for a romance but my family stepped in to interfere to make sure we could not connect and the Hopkins perpetrated this impasse. And to our mutual insanity. Things got so ugly. And here I am today. besqueaking this post. A little mouse lost her life similarly much later on. Here I am Lord. Praying the Sorrowful mysteries of the rosary today.

This is about the Hopkins lawsuit. All of this needed to be settled a long time ago.

JF has been there down all these years in ways I didn’t see or know at the time.

for instance there was something intrinsically funny about the word”marshmallow”. I just bought some marshmallows a few months ago and I have put on 5 lbs! If he were listening he would know what I am saying. He inhered in the relationship with Dad at the outset in a way that he ought not to have by probably having no idea that he did and rocked the boat. We had sex when we oughtn’t to have.

that was the problem with me and JF. We ought not to have. In general.

my takeaway from that relationship was the cat Daisy who found home in the arms of my mother and Ijust had to accept that and that it all led to my marriage to Alex and be content in that regard.

that was the work of a lifetime. I was involved with cats as a child, desperate for them to get along.

have a takeaway from this huge brush with human evil.

I was a somewhat naive person.

I understand about human evil now, even my own.

that doesn’t mean that it was not evil what Hopkins did or that it wasn’t malpractice. St. Paul’s most salient point in the Nee Testament when he talked about sin. The LORD turns it to the good. Not us.

38 years to get over the relationship with JF. It just blew my mind to be getting over another breakup after how I felt getting over MC at Harvard. I was still on the rebound. 4 years later. My mind was taking itself apart over the ill supplied Proluxn and it was terrifying what was happening to me. Our a had meshed from lying around in bed holding onto one another. He was also on the rebound from a college relationship. We were all deemed special but the landlord broke it up. He raised the rent when the lease came up for renewal and JF and the other roommates took the hint and left so I had to also. Next week he’s no I knew JF was driving by away back here me to DC with his belongings after spending the night with Kevin my new living arrangement, a room in a house in Cambridge. I didn’t last long there.

wound up on a psych ward and the doctors forced my parents to take me back. They had already planned to put me at Wernersville. My mother referred to a “free hospital”. I would have gone to the state hospital in Boston if they had let me but nobody supported such a move.