nccotus

damage happens down the years.

I have every woe of aging and have had them for a very long time. High BP, low thyroid, high cholesterol et cetera. Plus a few exotic ones. Scar tissue all over my face, arms and legs from picking at imaginary nits under my skin when I had acute, psychotic bug phobia. This is a serious issue in weathering heat and cold and a further incidence in my social interactions. Not because it shows but because it makes me somewhat physically insensitive. A weird sinus damage has led my sense of smell to be hampered and this also affects my social interactions and a lot of other things. Like, my cooking and my enjoyment of food. suici thinking can become addictive. I have finally escaped this but it has left a mark on my heart, mind, body and soul. I lost decades to the suicidal thinking and behaviour that was initiated by the early malpractice. I was still a “happy little person” inside when I walked into ms Shrensels office in Summit in 1983 and would never have become suicidal over my issues. It was the “walkies” from the Mellaril, an older antipsychotic medication, that did it to me. Combined with some conscious suicidal thinking that I would never have followed through on without the hideous pain and distress I was experiencing from the agitation from the Mellaril combined with my nervous exhaustion.

suicide attempts in your youth will tax you in your old age. As will cutting and eating disorders. MH World kind of celebrates these things in an inverse way. I remark the irony of eating disorders in a world where some suffer starvation. There is a saying, “Youth is wasted on the young.” We throw ourselves away on psych floors in our youths. As in other ways.

After Hopkins I was like a moth to the flame re psych wards. Something got broken there that couldn’t be fixed. I just kept going back and got worse and worse. My physical health got worse and worse.

that is why the statute of limitations in psychiatric malpractice cases needs to have a long long arm. And a subtle subtle grasp.