nccotus

who appears to be in purgatory.

if she were in hell I wouldn’t be hearing from her.

if she were in Heaven we would have peace with one another.

if she were still living I would know it by now.

I am continuing to experiencing interference from her and pushing her back into purgatory as it leads to evil if I don’t.

back in Summit, New Jersey, after the wrist cutting, as she was preparing to take me to the local psych ward, she called me a “spoiled brat.”

Sharon, the psychologist that I was seeing, called her “loopy” and I repeated that to her. I was toast after that. I had no idea abiut her life in Summit. I had never been a part of it. She was an enemy to my life at Harvard for reasons that weren’t being addressed by Sharon. She probably knew of and liked my mother and would have assented to the “spoiled brat” remark.

I was dealing with the rich and famous in the literary world and otherwise and in serious trouble in this regard.

decades later my mother finally found her own reassurance in this regard but it was way too late for me. She was connected to royalty! But what a butch and a pain in the ass she was in her insecurity about this before she reached her connectedness in this regard. I was butchered. Carelessly. As has been so clearly stated in my reminiscences here about my life.