nccotus

for the longest time I was stuck consciously at every waking moment on something that happened to me at the “Lodge Program” at Wernersville State Hospital in 1987 after Mark S. left.

It had to do with my cover there being blown open by a women from Texas—Patsy S.—who was unpredictable where generally the population on the Unit was local, largely PA Dutch. Quite a few people with a British background like myself.

Patsy had spent time in jail and Domestic Violence shelters in Texas and Florida. I am not sure how she wound up at Wernersville here in Berks County, PA. She was popular with the other women and some of the men and, especially, the Program Director, Jim McCormack, who didn’t like me.

I took myself apart trying to figure out what happened when she put out a bad “Note” about me in the Notes in the morning meeting business.

at this point I would guess that McCormack might have put her up to it.

I wrote it out as a story but still couldn’t make any sense of what she did or why or how she affected me.

I have spent the rest of my life trying to put myself back together.

Let it be said that weird things happen to you when you go to a state hospital.

through all of it I met and married and met my husband, in the most curious way. It had to do with the cats. (Alex is clan Chattan, clan of the cat.)

the worst problem was the feeling of losing time. Years turned into decades as I continued to spin my wheels somewhere in my mind over what Jim McCormack did to me through Patsy as I tried to be married to Alex.

it might have had something to do with breaking uo with Mark S., who used to talk about “bleeding time.”

At Hopkins they didn’t have a clue about any of this or if they did they disdained to address it other than to note a Satanic presence: Dr.Lipsey said, “an idle mind is the devil’s workshop,” but said nothing further in that regard and I don’t remember them enquiring about the state hospital at all.

Even today, this needs to be addressed.