nccotus

I used to say everywhere up and down the line that I was a poster child for the pro-Life cause. In other mind my life body heart and mind were so decimated through THREe abortions that I was evidence of the harm and damage to the woman as well as to the lost child through abortion.

On psych wards Ai referred to myself as the “spearhead” in MH world—a lifelong officiate through decades on psych wards and in meaningless psych care, bandaid treatment over bandaid treatment. I am grateful for the love when everything was past and gone but in truth that was true: everything had already been taken from me and as wasn’t in it for myself any more. Just hung in e is nothing. a dependent client. For my family’s sake. And to help and support others on psych floors. That strength is tappede je out now. There is nothing left.

today I am reporting in as a poster child for woes of MH World. It just has to change. Because of people like me. So many spearheads, done greater and a gazillion lesser. People sucked in at an early age thinking that they are part of something great that is happening for society through what they are asked to be doing for themselves when it turns out they are being asked to become a part of the revolving door for the sake of ping backs to the pockets of doctors and coworkers.

some are helped by the system and leave.

some are not helped by the system but leave.

others are not helped but keep going back because they get trapped by the promise.

the most obvious remark here is that doing the same thing over and over without getting a positive result is a definition of insanity.

catch 22 applies.

my catch 22 resolution is to accentuate the positive and get the hell out of the system while remembering that the e yiu of accentuating the positive is to acknowledge the negative and get rid of it, dispel and relinquish it in other words get rid if all that garbage that plays through your mind through the power work you take home from 100s of psych stays over years.

stepping out as God’s poster child for MH World. And the last gasp as a Spearhead ill of the Psych Ward.