nccotus

y2k

Alex’s mother committed suicide.

it was all staged.

he forced me to go there after a brutal move to derail me.

Edson the Tampa psychiatrist stepped out to derail me in the wake of a horrific stay at the Spring domestic violence shelter in Tampa, Florida.

Hauer, the lawyer there, was maintaining to me the policy that the law “becomes the truth.” Something that my father holds on to even to this very same bitter day.

Edson forced me to take lithium again per my family’s desire to hold me accountable for quitting the lithium after the stay at Hopkins. I had my reasons for doing this that they refused to hear, My father threatened a punch. My mother took baby Ian and secreted him in the cottage while I stepped out against my father saying “how dare you!”

to them a diagnosis represented a guilty verdict and they had secured a verdict of manic depression by the application of the medicine lithium. I chose it to show that I was NOT manic depressive because I had taken it before and it didn’t work. I knew not to take Depakote because Tegretol worked but had such horrific side effects. And there was no other medication available at that time. Lithium had a slight help as a mood lifter and I was willing to take it for a while as such and restored it per the will of my psychiatrist in Buffalo when I returned there. Which Alex disputes. But he has no grounds to. He sided with my family. And took their word over mind. How could they even know?

Then Taube in Maryland said it wasn’t working so I ditched it along with the rest. My lip was splitting from the dry mouth from the Nortryptyline, an older antidepressant, so I stopped that also and I was off the Navane, an older ant-psychotic per the instructions of Dr. Lipsey at Hopkins who said that those medicines were “clouding my thoughts more then they were clearing them” and was tapering me off of them. So I stopped the last 2 mg as I was leaving Buffalo which was a stupid thing to do but a part of my old playbook. I was in trouble in all these regards.

I spent two years talking to Taube and trusting in the strength of his mind and the force of the Depakote, Stellazine, and Zoloft to hold me steady but then I ditched it all to go to Florida. Because he warned me off of Florida, but I had no choice other than to go.

next stop, the Domestic Violence shelter. My high school math teacher warned me never to go back and they would not accept me back.

For my pains to get Ian safe I was rewarded with a banal use by my whole family as I set out to explain above.

Alex’s mother died and there was suspicion surrounding the circumstances and I was asked to leave with Ian and return to Florida after having been led to make a scene in a way I couldn’t help. I oughtn’t to have been there, in the wake of what went down re the DV shelter. It was all confusing and mixed up. He chose to remove the divorce order. I stayed to comfort him over his mother’s death.

Then what?