nccotus

re my Harvard roommates

first of all I had two beautiful roommates when I returned to Harvard from my years leave of absence senior year. I wonder why they didn’t put me with smoking roommates? One was a ballerina and the other was a rock band member. They were returning sophomores who had taken time off.

I was so grateful for this experience. But they had to put up with the smoking. Nothing was ever said about it.

As for Anita and Sally I have nothing left to share there but gratitude for these two lovely beings who formed my life in such a beautiful way.

Sally had a brother two years ahead and her father, a Dean at Stanford, visited regularly and took about ten of us out for dinner or ice cream. He took an interest in me because he knew my father professionally. I felt like a part of the family.

Anita and I hit it off. I finally realized just yesterday that she and RJ pertained as fellow Jewish intellectuals. She had other friends and I didn’t. I was so sad when I looked at the yearbooks and realized what a tiny role I cut, I barely scraped the surface of university life. I don’t really know how to see myself in this regard.

I questioned whether I really even graduated. Whether it was a bonafide piece of paper I got, whether I was welcome back each year or whether I was missing cues to get lost. Was it a scandal?

has it changed retroactively? have I made it well again? By trying to live up to it? What else could I have done?

Sally got angry with me over how I expressed this. I said, “If I ever get over your Harvard I will be glad for the experience.” She tended to be a little selfish in this regard. She was very demanding about how she was to be treated as a Deans daughter and the stresses she was under and not very giving regarding her responsibilities in this regard. I was the opposite. I didn’t understand that my father was famous and I was a very loving and giving oerson whose talents were lost in the cutthroat world of Sally’s Harvard. Still it was also a very fascinating glimpse of a life people don’t usually get to see. I wouldn’t have chosen it, it was chosen for me by the powers that be in the Harvard admissions team. And for her also.

I have been in the habit of calling us “Daughters of the [technological] Revolution.” Anita was not a party to that, but she was like glue that held us together. I lost Sally years ago but kept in touch with Anita as she had some issues that related to mine but recently I have been letting her go her own way.

Gratitude characterizes my disposition towards these two women in my life who held me through the worst moments in my soul. It happened that it dovetailed as matriculation at Harvard.

Now I’m out!

make no mistake, Sally was generous with her time, love and attention. She made a place for me in the most incredible way!