nccotus

it all went so wrong. Or at least, it felt that way at the time.

Now, I understand that he had it under his thumb just the way he needed it to be all along because of prior commitments that I continue to not be able to be apprised to for his safety as well as mine. The long shot here is Ian.

I was not always apprised of Ian and his safety as I needed to be because I did not really know Alex as he really was inside.

my book Every Cloud details everything about the marriage and what led to it. It is a very strange book. I don’t know whether it is still available on lulu.com.

The relationship marriage to Alex was all dictated through the cat woes in my life in the strangest ways.

At one point in Florida he declared himself a warlock. I continue to suffer under a delusion somewhere in my soul that I was married to David at Wernersville State Hospital. But, for practicality’s sake he married me off to Dad Alex. This was all horrible shame. Especially given the abortions. I don’t know how all this happened. I was a weak, insignificant person struggling to stay living. I grew BIG through struggling to raise a child in the face of the ongoing malpractice by the John’s Hopkins University Hospital Affective Disorders Unit in September of 1994. It was not my preferred persona. Alex struggled and died over this. He is not the same person now.