nccotus

About dregs of society. And the missteps we make about labeling those in low ebbs of their lives.

I have been deemed a dreg myself and I do understand why.

I have struggled to make myself useful to the human community worldwide. Especially the unborn infants doomed to die.

here in the Allentown area they got my through my dental needs.

I was supposed to go to Buffalo but didn’t know how. That was in 2012. I have finally seen the enormity of this and repented of this mistake.

I was tempted to stay. The verdant hills and vales after the heat and barrenness of suburban Florida sucked me right in. Despite the obvious hostility, I stayed. Here I am, 12 years and two horrible suicide attempts later and watching my son almost dying (but now sitting pretty).

The Lord has brought me back to atonement, reason, and understanding and now I am pulling from times way back in Florida that I had deemed lost and forgotten. It’s about Feldman a psychiatrist in Florida and his work as he viewed it was to get me AND IAN out of state and has finally succeeded in this regard. That is as far as I can see.n I had to be there in my head to pull myself and Ian out of there.

They do that in Florida. Rip up couples; send people back where they came from.

so, I did not arrive at the correct destination. I was to make a place in Buffalo for Ian as well if he so desired it. I just didn’t get it about how serious it was back up here in the Northeast about political positions I had taken and how I would be received; it had all seemed so unreal in the sleepy city of Seminole.

it’s not like Florida and Southern California where anyone can show up from anywhere and make a try at stays no.

at the first dentist I went to in Allentown upon my return to the area I got the most horrible Novocain shot. I was in bed for three days. I don’t remember the rest but I got paranoid and left the clinic. The work they did fell apart. I went to another, similar nationwide clinic and the dental tech, a young black girl, cut the string under my tongue with an x-ray slide. It hurt but I did not realize what she had done. The dentist, an Indian woman, noted that there was blood in my mouth. She denied that it was the dental technician.

I have been slowly dying of this ever since.

the first visible signs were when my neck started weaving back and forth. It looked so awful. I started losing my coordination. I started dropping things and not feeling like picking them up. I couldn’t sit up. I just wanted to lay down. At the time, I didn’t know what was going on. Now I can see it. That was in 2016 in Trexlertown preceding the nearly fatal Lamictal overdose.

these days the damage is systemic. The “Disorder of my reflexes” has become generalized and internalized.

through that one small injury.

I know and believe that God can do whatever He wants but I do not see what He would do to fix this. Obviously He did it to make me speak as I have done.

I am finally brushing my teeth again regularly after decades of having an issue in this regard; but my teeth are falling out. Just lost another a couple of days ago. I have urgently needed dental care for about 2 years now.

praying for fairness and my safety.

got all kinds of expensive dental care in Florida but nothing could help the ill work of one errant young dentist who did something serious to ruin my bite.

Now it is a question of dentures, partial appliances, saving enough teeth to be able to hold on to partial appliances.

…about the mistake in not going to Buffalo.

it was two pronged. A part of it was my classic error, sitting down on the horse as he is trying to fly over the fence instead of flying over one two three fly i go one two sit and struggle. I sat and was pulled off of the move to Buffalo. The second part of it was that my father didn’t want me to go and, in that moment, I was vulnerable to the power of his suggestion. I stayed with ill feelings not seeing what was going on. Here I am, reminding myself that God will work this to he good. Good will work every part of this to the good. Although I am bitter and remorseful over what has happened here.