nccotus

I do bad things when I get hurt.

I have to apologize to Joann.

she cheated on me with Alex.

my sons best friend’s mother.

But there are reasons this happened.

it was his fault not hers.

I understand that it was about Zydek.

I know by what he did about his badly I hurt him.

it was not a physical relationship but I was head over heels in love with Zydek. He was such a gentle being. My psychotherapist when we first got to Florida.

Alex was having affairs all over the place. But he explained to me that it was different if I did it.

”I might do this and I might do this but if you do…”. Then he made a gesture about breaking my neck. And he said “I’ll cheat you blind.” I did not understand that he literally meant that.

it didn’t get to me until it was Joann. She was cheating on her husband too. She thought that we were having an affair which was incorrect, I was giving him money to take care of Ian, He was good with the kids and he needed money and I had no other help. It was awkward but I was desperate. The Lord dovetails things. But we didn’t experience it that way at the time.

Joann was taking responsibility for Ian, he was eating there and spending holidays with them. She was taking care of Alex too. I stopped functioning over the vacuum cleaner and the Landry. I have already explained about this. And the ambulatory coma and the GI failure. Joann was known to step in to help and she did so with us and she wanted a pound of flesh over this and got one. We asked too much.

I wasn’t really a human being any more but she was.