nccotus

I don’t remember where or when this started but a week or more ago someone put extraneous snot into my applesauce at dinner time and I became very ill.

it was part wet and part hard. It stuck to the roof of my mouth as I slurped down the delicious cinnamon applesauce not realizing what was happening. There was nothing I could do.

the apple sauce and snot and salty food caused my saliva and my own snot to thicken and my preexisting serious cough became almost lethal as I could no longer expel the mucus in my chest.

Over the last week I have been up all night several times in a row unable to cough and unable to lay down because I had to cough but could only choke.

the in home care service came to see me and suggested sinus spray as well as guafesin (the expectorant, I don’t know how to spell it) and the four-month, persistent cough is now healing. And hydration.

God works everything to the good…

another upshot is that my back went out and my back, neck, and head sloped 45 degrees to the right where ordinarily I slope to the left a little because of an old hip injury. Now I am sloping back to the left again and the long time injured right hip is in terrible pain. But an extremely important silver lining is that I think my neck has stopped snaking and weaving which is something that started happening after an evil young female dental X-ray technician cut the strung under my tongue with an x-ray plate. It was a black woman and later I speculated that she did it deliberately. I was in such a paranoid place about race matters after my experience under Obama.

God reassured me the other day that he made that part of me his own that way and not to worry further. As every other part of me. It all passed through the Lord’s hands.

same with the snot moment. It was disgusting what happened but it has brought about this significant healing. I am working on keeping my head upright. Sloping neither to the left or to the right. But it is no longer snaking or weaving. The snaking and weaving was a curse that was on me for a long time for a reason I do not know and I did not know that it was even still happening. I thought several months ago that it had stopped but then realized that it hadn’t. I can’t tell from looking in the mirror. The extraneous snot was sort of like the nasty fixing pill in the Mackintosh family that my sister-in-law told me about in BC or the dirt pill in the Princess Bride that my first psychologist had me read that brings the prince back from death after dying from torture.

Every part of my body has been taken over by God with pain and brokenness. I don’t think there is anything that hasn’t been compromised in some way. I understand now that He has owned me this way and will always hold me for this pain and harm. I know that he can do anything He wants. He has also given me great joy at times. He gave me my son. He made me His prophet, a fascinating journey. I won’t speak for Ian. But I pray that he comes to the same place with suffering he experienced through how the Lord has held me.