nccotus

the problem for me all my life was that I was I was excessively brilliant in some regards, especially mathematics. But functionally retarded in so many practical ways. But not an autist.

for instance, I failed out of economics. And couldn’t do applied math such as 2nd year Calculus. I took an Autobahn driver (my ex) to correct THE WORST ever driver. I took my PA recreational driving–in the wake of my disablng experience in the ICU in ’86-to the California highways and became cleansed and clean.

I could clean a bathroom but not the whole house. I asked for a lighter vacuumm cleaner and he bought the biggest Dirt Devil when the littlest was just what I needed as my back hurt. I just stopped vacuuming. Then similarly, I just stoped doing the laundry. Just couldn’t hack it any more. The folds, in ither words, the corners, in the clean laundry triggered my OCD painful spasms. I just stopped. Caved in to the serious burgeoning lower GI issue. After that he was just caring for me and sick himself with serious sleep apnea. I had to get out for his sake and bring Ian wiih me. For Ian’s sake. For everbody’s sake.

but it didn’t it did not go well for me and Ian here.

its been 12 1/2 years since I got here and I have been churning my wheels in the mud the whole time.

all along I needed to be fostered as s mother and got used instead by the people closest to me as fostered by Drs. Lipsey and Simpson at Johns Hopkins University Hospital in 1994 and until this very moment.