nccotus

i grieved for him in pain and agony for years.

i was told he had disappeared. Then that he had met his death on the road and that they had scraped up his remains and buried them.

there is such a thing as cat murder.

i realized recently that they had him put down. To punish me for offering advice as asked when my sister’s 20-year-old horse with cancer had to be put down. They didnt know what to do. She had just started at Smith College. She still wanted the horse to have a foal. I suggested that they take a meal and call first before taking off for Massachusetts. No ill thoughts there. But it didn’t go well. Of course I took the blame. And was forced to foster the course of her stay in Smith College. Through the painful mystery about Dorian’s death.

it was sort of like the Oprah Winfrey character in the movie The Color Purple.

Then I met a Canadian man of Clan Chattan, clan of the cat, who took me away from it all, and we took off for the West.

it started in a town outside Cambridge with a roommate relationshup in bad faith. We oughtnt to have been doing it. We got a pretty little cat from the MSPCA. He knew that I would take responsibiity for her, he covered it over by humorouly painting me as a future “cat lady,” which I did become when I sent the cat Daisy to my mother’s then new place here in PA in terror. And she blatantly let her out only to get pregnant when she was only a year old and I was so precarious and I had asked her to keep her in. She told me she let her out several nights in a row knowing that there was a tomcat out there.

Next thing I knew, I was here myself with 5 cats to remind me of a horrible, broken relationship.

Fast forward to Dr. Paul Gross in Allentown–a Hop kins med school grad, chosen for that reason–in 1997— putting me on the old psych ward at the Allentown Hospital for a massive med change. I was dunnwd for my sexuality issues. In the subsequent Partial Hospital group I was mocked for my continuing feelings about Dorian’s death.

at the end of it the doctor and his psychologist told me to go back to Florida, which I did.

fast forward to 2020 my father forced me to put down my morher’s cat Sasha. A beautiful ginger tabby about 15 years old. She was old and dying but I was willing to keep her for a while in my mother’s absence. It still remains a mystery to me whether witchcraft could have created the ruse of her apparent death in 2020 and recent signs appear to show that she did actually meet her real death in recent weeks.

but, as for Sasha, it was all so traumatic how it happened. I was having a seizure and had a sick silly smile plastered on my face.

I finally cried today. Travis and Tanner were terrified when I brought back her small dead body in the cat carrier

they her in my arms to hold as she passed. That was all I was able to do for her. I just anted to get her antibiotics for a urinary tract infection.

!!!

this is a miracle!

i just realized what waa going on here. This was about a mouse murder!

about how Florida psychiatrist Feldman refused to hold on for Coco the mouse when I took her to his office knowing I needed to take her to the vet. I realized afterwards that she had a urinary tract infection. She wasnt peeing. How stupid could I have been. I figured a long time ago that there was a connection there between her and cat Daisy here in PA and now I am seeing a connection between her awful dearh and what happened to Sasha. What happened to Sasha was on my farher. He ordered it and he triggered the seizure. What happened to Coco was on Alex. He was on the phone to me the whole time.

it all pased through the Lord’s hands.

how mwny times have we seen stories of a mouse able to come to the rescue of a cat.

sort of like this whole Murphy Mackintosh marriage!