nccotus

I got the wrong one the first time around.

somebody said, to someone else, years later, “some one took you aside, when you were vulnerable and not yourself, and said something to you and put you on medication…”

I couldn’t grasp that at the time but now I have..

I have been held in a sick thrall for 41 years in that exact situation.

apprised of the possible help of a correct label for my woes but given one that led me all wrong, desperate to fix it.

it even blocked my faith life even as it led me to it.

but today I have the Lord’s leading even in this crazy mess that I call my life.

I no longer harbor animosity to any of the people places or things involved. I do take issue with the powers and principalities who are involved at this point, this stuff never needed to reach this painful and public level. It IS about the John’s Hopkins malpractice 29 years ago.

they were there for “a fresh look at the diagnosis” and it should have been obvious to them that it was not strictly a mood disorder and that I seriously needed help with a 10 month old infant after a traumatic childbirth in a desperate situation and not to just throw us out.

the offer of a second opinion did not help. But was like the doctor just walked away and after the new doctor walked in after a 2 week wait she turned out to be weak and incompetent for personal reasons and no help at all and the social worker got me out of there.

after 29 years I am free to say this plainly. I got away with my life. The doctor wrote up a nasty discharge summary that has followed me ever since.

today I have a diagnosis that is partly medical, in other words, based in a physical condition that was quite apparent way back then and they just didn’t choose to harbor me for it.