nccotus

he needed to know about Steve and I and our friends in the basement and elsewhere.

strip poker with him and me and Dave and Wendy and then he tried to pop me behind the couch and couldn’t. And then he tried to start something one afternoon when Stuart and Ellen were there and I was so relieved it wasn’t me; and Stuart stopped it.

Steve was seriously tempted as a youth as I was. My mother fostered promiscuity in both of us in the most foolish way.

he attacked me in bed in Cape Cod summer vacation when I was 9 and he was 10. I was so embarrassed, it sounds too young but I am pretty sure it was 1970.

Sometimes we were close other times he hated me.

The loss of him in 2018 doesn’t feel real. I believe the suicide in Maui was a fake.