nccotus

I am so ignorant in these matters and I have been used for this.

In this area there is a Satanic pattern of name associations. I don’t know how it works but I do know a Satanically based person here who does this

like, AlBERto andvJUDy representing BERnard and JUDith, my parents—and pertains to refer to the abortion when I was 13.

my understanding is that my relationship with this couple has been held against me ever since it happened way back in local history in the mid 89’s.

what about MY point of view. I was railroaded back to the state hospital for a 3rd and final stay after running away. Without recourse to a social worker or any help with my situation there which included a problem with being drawn into sexual relationships with 2 different male patients.

so, obviously, the bad sexual energy unaddressed led into another, very inappropriate relationship, this time with a much older, Puerto Rican street person AlBERto who was already involved with someone else JUDy and I didn’t have the parts to know it. The staff verbally pointed out to me that it was inappropriate by saying I didn’t really know who I was or who he was and stepped in to stop it in a way that was dangerous and completely uncaring towards me; when I moved to a different unit.

I was still completely lost because of the harm that was done by the woman at the Lodge Program and the Program director that had caused me to run away.

in other words I was treated as a pain in the ass for the issues that I presented. Much as had always been the case in my family. That’s probably where they were getting it from.

I needed help.

I got it from God:

there was a connection there to Arthur Robyn, the abortion of my father’s baby when I was 13. I was on track and didn’t know it. They (Alberto and Judy) were there in my head when I was on the psych ward desperate at 4 months pregnant with baby Ian in California. Years later. It felt very reassuring at the time. I thought that the trail ended there.

why it had to be connected through a Hispanic person I don’t know. My son keeps dating Latino Hispanic women. Maybe I will have Latino grandchildren.

I do acknowledge and submit to the glaring need for my ignorance in this regard to be corrected. As has already substantially happened and also I would ask for others to seek to learn a little more about me and quit prejudging me as well.

…in the end, it all led me to meet up with Alex in the right way at the right time…some of this was banal bitter chaff…