nccotus

It’s resolved.

my condition is medical.

a sexual injury at age five or thereabouts. Plus likely infant torture, also a physical medical issue. No rape from 7 to 12 as was posited at one point. I broke my own hymen with a hairbrush at age 13. Yes rape at thirteen and abortion of Arthur Robyn. Everything points to this.

so, my condition in all these regards is medical. Plus, the wart mole, it is properly termed a ‘lesion’. I waited all my life for the past 3 years that it has been to take this thing off of my face and adjust, “Trust in the Lord’s timing.” The pain inversely kept me numb to other pain. Haldol and other drugs like it made it worse. Obviously it was closely connecting with some uncomfortable absence of sensation coupled with persistent stimulation in my sexuality.

So, there are obviously emotional elements to this condition and it can be deemed a traditional MH issue but also, strictly speaking, through the medical, physical aspects there is organic personality disorder, uniquely inhering in the individual medical issues I have recently hit on the phrase, “habits of a life-long invalid.”

the important thing to be said here is that I couldn’t have benefited from this understanding of my condition at age 21 when I first turned to a psychologist for help. It would have blown me away, my mother wouldn’t have know what to do. I was masked from attention that would have hurt me. I so wanted that first psychiatrist to spell it out to me. Obviously infant torture and my being a my being an AT&T experiment couldn’t come out at that time. It was so heartbreaking what happened there. But Lipsey at John’s Hopkins perpetuated it in a way that was indecent,

Way long ago, I couldn’t have enjoyed anything positive and pleasant with the wart-mole ugliness going on in my life. It blocked me from normal pleasures and activities delivering constant subliminal pain and nausea It has taken me 3 years to reorder my life in this regard at this late time. And now, no lesion, and I have adjusted, and I am mature enough to be able to handle the LGBTQueer facts of my life, as they were and as they became; that I could never held Ian on my own; that it took a vicious malpractice to show me this; that it was still a malpractice.

I needed to know it by the time Ian came around so that reasonable dispositions could be made in that regard, whether hurtful to me or not, his life was at stake. We both needed special help and it was not forthcoming from my mother. Lipsey at Hopkins put her in charge and ditched us. It was a sick thing to do.

it is a living testament of the power of Christ to transform a life that I am living and here to post this blog post today.