nccotus

I finally learned to go to faith through the back door: through fear of Satan and fear of Hell.

I learned through my father, who believes in God but hates Him, to believe that Gods exists for others but not for me. This fear plagued me through my life. It was also differently from my father through being Jewish by matrilineal descent.

in Florida I was struggling constantly with a Satanic presence. Also in California, where I was so desperately to be “churched.” Desperate over the abortions. In Florida struggling desperately to be a mother. All along I was desperate to be HERE searching out my issues just as I am.

I am remembering to TRUST IN THE LORD’S TIMING.

I don’t know why I had to go through all those sick and bad times.

sa

In the Universal Prayer by Pope Clement XI we hold ourselves up to do what the Lord asks as He asks it for as long as He asks because He asks it. I am satisfied to rip the chaff out of those times and leave the rest to be as stated. God has a plan that is bigger than me but my woes are a part of them and I am to relinquish them back to Him.

Dad, you are to do the same.

Love you