nccotus

they are trying to return me to the state hospital near here 38 years later, knowing I would be ripped limb from limb in arrival. The county prison would be the same.

I have been at the point of these threats since I got here 5 1/2 months ago but they have kept themselves to threats of rape lately, now it is back to the threat of the state hospital.

i am here to repent and atone for the things I did to harm Ian as a child sometimes not even knowing it and certainly not wanting to, and, I have been trying so hard to fix it. Places where I couldn’t protect him. I finally realize what I didn’t know or couldn’t do then, which is to repent and make atonement. And let the Lord move in to help. It is such a relief, my own efforts have felt futile and never ending. Because this is God’s work to do, not mine. We have to repent of things we do inadvertently and unintentionally, even in desperation or not even not knowing it at the time. This is made plain in the Books of Moses.

And let the Lord step in to fix, clean, and heal us.

whatever happens here I know that a part if it is to help what got so badly broken there.