nccotus

Oh, God, I am so easily misread.

I was just talking to someone on the smoking deck about my childhood.

it was about being a lady knight. It was about my last post and how I am looking for a male presence to hold onto. Someone instantly took that the wrong way as I ought to have seen they would.

I had to explain that I was called to fight alongside the men in a way that leads me to fraternize with men.

actually, it is several things. My organic personality disorder made my sex somewhat indistinguishable when I was a little girl. I went out to play with my brother and his friends without a top on! My mother was horrified!

and, as an Englishwoman in America I had a habit of buttonholing men in a way that I have seen other Englishwomen in America do—especially my mother. She appeared to be a horrible flirt. She just got confused over time.

then, there was the lady knight thing. I was an intellect. And called as such—ultimately to this blog site. To speak to both men and women on important matters. Like Jane Austen and George Eliot and Virginia Woolf. They were my role models before I became a Christian. Women who were called to a traditionally male role.

Now it’s St. Therese of Lisieux and St. Maria Faustina Kowalska.

and of course the two Mary’s, St. Mary the mother ever virgin and St Mary Magdalen, one of Jesus’s closest followers.

Tonight I am fasting from dinner. Don’t know what is going to happen next.