nccotus

through all of this attention in recent years, my son has had the chance to reach his majority.

and I can release him to a less pronounced place in my life. FOR HIS BENEFIT.

It has been taxing for me to see the pain and horror in his life as a child and young adult. Balanced by beautiful things. But he was being persecuted by people who were turning him away from me and accentuating the negative.

and abusing him themselves.

I have been there to fix it in recent weeks especially. And I am assured that he has been able to step into himself as the gorgeous person whom he truly was and is.

but FOR HIS BENEFIT, as well as my own, I needed to be resuming other interests, for instance, I can now properly attend to those other kids I lost who used to be in the way, especially Arthur Robyn, the baby I lost at 13. I can safely set Ian aside for a while without fearing his instant death! And the other two aborted kids.

and then, there is my life as a writer and minor poet. And Sister Lynne in the nccotus. I have been resting so heavily on Ian to do work for Ian and these other kids. It wasn’t fair on him to be the only visible sibling.

so, that’s 7 major irons in the fire and there others, like, my health care which has been sorely ditched here and my financial wellfeasance and my personal care which is on the upswing and my own personal spiritual life (outside of this website) which needs attention.

Lifting myself and Ian up for these things as a Sunday prayer.