nccotus

He works things together all the time all at once…just like the feathers of a dove mesh apart and together—or like spoons in the film, “Frankie and Johnnie—like the spoons that we packaged in the workshop at Wernersville State Hospital.

so, my parents try to claim that they did good things to me for where it worked together for the good for me. Secular humanists make this mistake all the time. God works their ill deeds to the good and they scramble to take credit for it. We must repent and make atonement and let the Lord work through us: relinquish it God!

For instance, after 38 years the ghoul is coming out of me. God had a plan for this. I have to trust in his timing. It took 4 years here to even begin to recover. My father was kind enough to let me return to Springstone Hollow after two years, where I was in a sick thrall and agony, processing the pain in a way that I didn’t understand until recently. I met Alex and got out of there. I was all but dead. I do not understand about the sick glut of verbal and emotional violence that my life became after that and I am praying for reprieve especially for how it affected our son.

Lord, I am repenting of my own sin in this regard.

Lord, I am lifting up both Ian and Alex up to you separately and as father and son, for the help of Heaven in every regard, and myself for the physical violence as the bull in a china shop that I became in my own sick violent thrall of pain. Oh God, I so viciously desired my motherhood. Things got in the way. I so wanted to hold you and make it better Ian. Somewhere in my head I was your mother, Ian. In a way I couldn’t hold onto at the time. I also fiercely want another child. TO HELP YOU. It just wasn’t fair to you to take all of the pain in the Alex Mackintosh world. It probably couldn’t have happened. My period was sour.

I am holding myself up to Heaven in this regard. So sad for a maternal woman to have only one child. I have intellectual projects instead for my consolation. Maybe a person with organic personality disorder and partial complex seizures oughtn’t to have had a lot of kids. I am so glad I had one. That is my ghoul epiphany . I pray that you don’t want to harm me for this, Ian.

…

I forgot to mention my gratitude.

in the dovetail theory of God, when we realize in our repentance and atonement to give it up to God, to lift up our heart in GRATITUDE for His goodness and GRACE.

Secular humanists use human sacrifice in one form or another to satisfy their needs for to be shriven when what they need since 2000 years ago is God’s grace through Jesus. Serial killers satisfy our bloodlust, we follow them with fascination as cult followers in an inverse way as they fill up our need to hate on persons off of ourselves.

Priests who abuse children similarly create a feeding frenzy as persons we can heap our abuse on in a society where sexuality is out of control and me and sometimes women are feeding on porn and snuff films themselves. It is a world out of control.

Consider the Lord! Consider yourselves. Point your pointing fingers at yourselves.