nccotus

in a 4 part series

…at the cusp of a millenium

things get lost at such a time.

anniversaries are so important

we were so worried about the turn of the 21st century (1984, 2001, the Y2K bug, and so many other things). We let a lot of things go. I was stuck in the 80’s. I just wasn’t ready. Even today it feels like a sharp, hard hit to look at the year 2000. 9-11, 2001 has me clenched still after almost 2 decades.

somehow, I had to try to raise my kid; when our mores and practices and human understanding were falling apart. My feeling as an older mother was that the kids were inscrutable ; that many kids had post or pre abortive mothers, for one thing, or sperm bank mothers or love children. Or fertility accidents. Or kids born with disabilities and saved by modern medicine. Then, I almost turned to foster care but then I almost lost him and panicked and got out of a psych ward on a Writ of Habeaus Corpus where they were holding me off of him. It’s a weird world out there for kids where I was holding onto some values that I couldn’t meet in a way that was so painful but I understand that Ian suffered horrible abuse that they did not. I felt that it was better than strangers who wouldn’t have understood. I cannot excuse myself in this regard. I helped myself in order to help him but I am sure a child would not see it that way. I can only hope for the help of Heaven and the Heavens in this regard in other words, yes, God and Jesus and the saints and angels in Heaven, and of course, the Holy Spirit, in other words, miracle upon miracle; and, of course, ALIENS 6 times better and smarter and more advanced than us!

Praying for this. Lifting up Ian…