nccotus

I learned manners here at this home.

I was left to help myself as a child, while holding myself for organic personality disorder issues.

I had no manners. I never learned to ask for anything. Just helped myself.

I was permitted to do this at home but held for harm for this by others.

recently I subsumed this under “habits of a lifelong invalid” but it did finally need to be addressed.

It turned into a fetish theft issue, like stealing paper and white out from my place of work as a temp secretary in Manhattan in college. And thinking nothing of it.

and then getting caught stealing some pens and whiteout from the college co op when I was back at school. Obviously this was a serious anxiety issue. They did not arrest me. I was crying. They probably turned me in to the university.

I stopped doing this a long time ago—at that moment. But I still have thoughts of fear of being thought to steal when I go to the supermarket. I am thinking today that it is the anxiety and fetish issues persisting, where the manners issue persist and are being addressed here and now. Sick anti-socialization issues.

praying to God to be released from this complex issue.