nccotus

saint’s qualities

a warrior

a ship captain who had to set sail.

it was over for us in Seminole, Fla—one of the most beautiful cities in America.

he liked to blast the 70’s Mercedes in the garage at 4 a.m. It belonged to his mother. He missed her so much. He claimed he saw her on a star. We both had gained a lot of weight and he had horrible sleep apnea and I had a weird sympathetic snoring issue.

it just got to a point… I knew HE NEEDED me to leave him. I couldn’t meet his special needs, I couldn’t couldn’t cook any more, let alone a heart healthy diet. He was doing most of the cooking, when he was around. I wasn’t cleaning. I took Ian with me and returned here to PA. It was to save both of their lives.

I was so ill, and Ian was self-medicating.

Alex said Ian wouldn’t live past 21, I took that as a hint and got him out of there.

He went to Kutztown University for a while here, and got some college under his belt.

there are some horrible memories of Florida, but also some so beautiful.

it is important to a child to know his or her parents love one another when there is a situation of abuse. Which there was. So many times over.

But we also both loved him so very much.

stress can do a number on a person with the best motives. Alex carried the stress of his own childhood with him, a youth spent driving the autobahn in Germany when he finally had his father with him on a military base there. As a child his father was away. He was a soldier and an officer in the Canadian military. Alex was left alone at home with his sister in his mother’s care. Most of the time.

It took a long time before I knew this person. It was a little like The Terminator. We were together for one hour to make Ian (I have posted the drawings in other posts). The rest was ancillary to this. He also was interested by aliens and loved the X files.

He had lived a fantastic life and so had I and we were paired together to accomplish some beautiful works, another was to be “a case study in abortion”—I saw that early on. We didn’t connect right at the beginning but he made that okay. I know that it all passed through the Lord’s hands. He had some motives that I didn’t understand at the time. It end up getting taken out of Ian. For this I am so desperately sorry. He was marked for this from the beginning in a way I won’t release at the time but it was like me with the mole-wart: it marked me for suffering and abuse. I was born with it. It led me to become abbyhillonline. I know that Ian’s sufferings will also be mitigated now.

Glory Hallelujah!