nccotus

all this crazy posting about ME!

it is all by way of a witness about what made me the Christian that I am today.

MR autist struggling to make extraordinarily difficult works seem effortless was my MO until recent days, weeks and years. I caught the innate person at the core of the disaster that I lived inside the “contraption” that was my existence: the wart-mole person with a broken pud who was finally diagnosed with partial complex seizures but couldn’t be treated as such. For circumstantial reasons including endemic OCD this turned into a bizarre situation, ultimately working beyond hysterical paralysis into “OCD sciatica”: I pulled something in my hip and my sciatic nerve got irritated. It is a long, horrendous story. I couldn’t even dress myself. Forcing myself through startle responses in order to function, I became paralyzed.

ultimately I found Luvox for OCD and then Jesus. Recently. After seeking so hard for so long. At one time I had Jesus in an unconscious way but I did not honor Him with my hands and feet. Or, if I did I did not know it. I had to learn to translate it out of my head into thoughts, words and deeds. These were all so negative.

So, I have weathered horrible pain in my life.

But, I am beginning to be able to climb out of those places and I have been called to be doing some “forgetting work.”

Accentuate the positive.

my endemic condition, in the wake of the completion of the metamorphosis out of the mort-mole removal which has now occurred, is a weirdly handicapped person who has some phenomenal strengths through compensation for weird deficiencies. Things I just can’t cope with that are common sense to others, such as business matters. Economics. Sexuality. Spatial relations such as maps. Other things have been added over time, like that my finger tips are numb and I have trouble with hand-eye coordination.

Jesus is the way and the truth and the life.

I am a fragile container.