nccotus

a day touched with sadness

for the children I lost and never knew it

the one when I was 13

and didn’t understand

didn’t know what a baby was

Ian said he hated me

for doing that to his brother and sister

Alexander Texas

and Elizabeth Francesca

aka Jasmine

nobody knew about Arthur Robyn

when I was 13

even me

the welfare gyn said did you have a baby

n I said I didn’t know n he said that’s ridiculous

not if it was an abortion and I blocked it out.

that’s what I said to myself recently

he asked because he found I had a prolapsed uterus.

that was in my 20’s.

singing over my children

a sad sorry tune

rocking my babies

in my arms

humming to my babies

all but lost

we raise our babies

we raise our lost babies

One way or another.

Now, I have a prolapsed bladder and a prolapsed uterus

but the pain is finally gone

but the bizarre form remains

I used to say

that I was “God’s poster child for the pro-life cause”

now I just cry

when I think about it

The remains of Jasmine are finally out of me.

That is what has finally happened here

at this ALF.

I am purified in this regard.

they have all finally gone the way of all things.

I have Ian to hold with me in this death-defying journey called life on earth.

Please consider that abortions affect siblings as well as the mother and the aborted babies

in so many ways.

I am profoundly relieved of so much pain today and so many problems.

But this message remains.