nccotus

cocoa the mouse suffered a passion at the end.

I can’t talk about the details. I already have. It was horrible about her death.

She lived an incredible life for a mouse.

Looking back, I can see how it wasn’t on me for it to be any different from how it was.

That mouse was just like me and Ian. Different. Not like other mice. She had a hormonal problem. She was a little bit fat. Just like Ian and I are both a little androgynous.

It was about how I disdained her for her smallness; for not being a cat. I loved her so dearly. She died in 2003. She died early, after a year and a half. She had s urinary tract infection and I was too stupid to see it. I took her to Feldman’s with me (the psychiatrist). His student doctor made a threatening remark when he stepped out of the room and it blocked me from being able to take her to the vet that evening.

That mouse was LARGE. She helped our family. A little bit of love and life. In an oasis of destruction. The house was being rewired! What a noisy, uncomfortable mess for her! She has lingered in my heart all these years. Until I could find the way to let her be big to the whole wide world.

This was a prophet among mice.

I have been told that cats have souls.

Obviously cats have always been set apart. As in ancient Egypt; and in T.S. Eliot; and, King of the Jungle. What about mice? And other mammals? And birds? And lizards?

The nccotus supports animal rights activism.