nccotus

First of all, I wasn’t graduated from Harvard and didn’t know it. This is what I am guessing in the wake of my last hospital stay as I try to put things back together.

My work was inadequate, I didn’t wash properly; then, of course, the smoking.

And, other things.

I went there as a runaway; after writing my college application personal essay about running away from home over summer vacation before senior year in high school.

I got this flowery, crimson-inked, oversized certificate delivered to my door after I (thought I) finished my work in the summer session of ’84 (after a year’s leave of absence in ’83.)

In Florida I saw my son’s eye doctor’s Harvard certificate outside his office and it was nothing like that.

So, the smoking back then was a really serious issue. Then, later, I clung to it as an exscuse for my existence. I was treading water, after the state hospital, with nothing WHATSOEVER to do except drink coffee wnd smoke cigarettes.

Several years later I had my son.

The chief trouble I have with the smoking is that it harmed my son. I am unable to broadly endorse it or freely enjoy it in this regard, even though it doesn’t PHYSICALLY harm him today.

Then, I look at a young person smoking as as I did; and I think, what a shame; and I am wondering whether the Lord gave me those words about smoking, that it is “unguent and appealing,” to downtrain me from it; because it got so out of control in my life. As with so many things in my life, I was in GRIDLOCK in my smoking.

So, the Lord dovetails things.

I and my son and my Harvard roommates are a very unfortunate case. I almost died from the 3 weeks without sleep in Tampa in 2003; the cigarerettes kept me living.

I think I am the exception that proves the rule.

Smoking in proper proper proportion with due restraints is like alcohol. In other words, it is a good. It just needs to be limited properly.

My smoking was improperly suppressed and improperly condoned in my family in a way that led to this disastrous cigarette-smoking case history.